[Durgical](https://durgical.com/en/) › [DurgiPedia](https://durgical.com/en/durgipedia/) › [Nursing](https://durgical.com/en/nursing/) › [Paediatric nursing](https://durgical.com/en/nursing/areas/pediatric/) › Communicating with children by age, and with their parents # Communicating with children by age, and with their parents - Safe practice Match the words, the timing and the length of an explanation to the child's age, be honest, and help the parents stay calm. Updated Nov 13, 2026 ## Key points - Toddlers: very short, concrete explanations right before the event; simple choices; play with a toy or doll. - Preschoolers: explain just before the procedure; say clearly it is not a punishment; let them handle safe equipment. - School-age: prepare ahead, use accurate terms, name the body part, teach calming techniques, give real decisions. - Adolescents: accurate medical terms, honesty about discomfort, privacy and their own choices about who is present. - At every age: say how it will feel, allow crying, and never present a treat as a reward for 'being good'. ## What it is Children understand illness and procedures differently at each age, so how and when the nurse explains things changes with development. Toddlers and preschoolers need short, concrete explanations just before an event and often understand best through play. School-age children can be prepared ahead and like to take part. Adolescents want accurate detail, privacy and a say in decisions. Parents need clear information too: a calm parent helps the child cooperate. ## What it requires - Plain, concrete words: name the exact body part and say only that area will be involved. - Honesty: describe the discomfort truthfully without dwelling on it. - Permission to react: tell the child it is fine to cry, shout or say it hurts. - Control: offer choices that are real (bandage colour, which arm, time of day when possible). ## Components - Timing and length suited to attention span. - Play and demonstration with toys, dolls or safe medical items. - Choices and participation in simple tasks. - Privacy, mainly for school-age children and adolescents. - Support for the parents so they can comfort the child. ## How it is applied (and why) - Ask the parents how the child usually communicates and what calms them — the family knows the child best. - Show the equipment on a toy and let the child handle safe items, never needles or sharp objects — play shows what the child fears. - With a toddler, keep it to a few minutes right before the event, in concrete words; give one direction at a time — short attention spans. - With a preschooler, explain just before, act it out on a doll, and say it is not a punishment — they may link pain with having done wrong. - With a school-age child, prepare ahead, use accurate terms, invite questions or a drawing of the procedure — it reveals hidden fears. - With an adolescent, explain why and how in medical terms, ask who they want in the room and respect it — privacy and control lower anxiety. - Describe what the child will feel, see and hear, and any temporary change (speaking, hearing, passing urine) — surprises increase fear. - Offer real choices and a simple task, such as holding something — a sense of control reduces distress. - Talk with the parents apart if needed, and ask for help with siblings or meals so they can focus on the child — a calm parent helps the child cooperate. ## In nursing practice - Adolescents often worry about appearance, mental functioning or sexuality after a procedure: raise these topics openly. - Older children and adolescents may benefit from videos or talking with peers who had the same procedure. - A child who is not allowed to see the parent can be given a familiar object; the parent can stay within sight. - Watch the child's play and drawings for signs of fear or misunderstanding, and correct them gently. ## Common mistakes - Explaining days ahead to a toddler or preschooler, so worry builds up. - Saying 'it won't hurt' when it will: it breaks trust for the next procedure. - Making a treat a condition for good behaviour instead of a comfort afterwards. - Talking only to the parents over the head of a school-age child or adolescent. - Letting siblings or peers watch without the child's agreement. ## Test yourself Think of the answer, then tap the question to see it. ## When should a preschooler be told about a procedure? Right before it happens, in a short explanation, so the child does not worry for days. ## What may a preschooler believe about pain that the nurse should address? That it is a punishment for something they did; the nurse explains it is not. ## What do adolescents commonly worry about with a procedure? How it might affect their appearance, mental functioning or sexuality, and who will see them. ## Why should parents try to stay calm in front of the child? Children cooperate better when their parents are calm. [Add to my cards (4)](https://durgical.app/estudiar/?add=/en/nursing/communicating-with-children-by-age-and-with-their-parents/) ## Elsewhere in DurgiPedia - [Adolescence: development and the HEADSSS interview](https://durgical.com/en/behavioral-science/adolescence-development-and-the-headsss-interview/) ## Connections ## Related 2 - [Therapeutic communication: techniques and barriers](https://durgical.com/en/nursing/therapeutic-communication-techniques-and-barriers/) - [Family-centred and atraumatic care of the child](https://durgical.com/en/nursing/family-centred-and-atraumatic-care-of-the-child/) [← All of nursing](https://durgical.com/en/nursing/) Educational content for students; it does not replace your institution's protocols, supervised clinical training or a prescriber's order. Dose-calculation examples use made-up numbers: they are educational, not a clinical order. Sources: [Toddler test or procedure preparation (Medical Encyclopedia)](https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/002056.htm) (MedlinePlus, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 2024); [Preschooler test or procedure preparation (Medical Encyclopedia)](https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/002057.htm) (MedlinePlus, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 2024); [School age test or procedure preparation (Medical Encyclopedia)](https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/002058.htm) (MedlinePlus, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 2024); [Adolescent test or procedure preparation (Medical Encyclopedia)](https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/002054.htm) (MedlinePlus, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 2024). ## **Spotted a mistake?** We are always improving for the community. Tell us what is wrong and our team will review it. Report a mistake Representative model, for educational purposes only. --- Source: https://durgical.com/en/nursing/communicating-with-children-by-age-and-with-their-parents/ License: CC BY 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/). Cite as: DurgiPedia (durgical.com), https://durgical.com/en/nursing/communicating-with-children-by-age-and-with-their-parents/